You Don't Eat ANYthing?

Nope.

So, I went to see this medical weight loss doctor. I took BART, walked the three blocks to his office, and met with the incredibly thin and beautiful Russian nurse. We'll call her Nurse Natasha for kicks. She is actually really really sweet and kind to me. So we draw blood, talk a little about the program, and then off I go back into the streets of San Fran.

The next week, I meet with the doctor, Dr. PrescriptionPad. After a brief calculation, he decides that I have to lose 90 pounds, and that at 3 pounds a week, I should need about 32 weeks of Active Weight Loss. After that, it will be another 30 weeks of Maintenance. And to start, I can only have shakes. Medifast shakes. Seven of them, a day.

And psycho me, after hearing all of that, I respond with the question generated by the single train of thought I have had since he began speaking:

"Um, doctor, where did you say I can fill that prescription?"

Some habits never do die hard the way they should.